I remember the first time someone called me “Madame”… How insulted I was, I mean I am not old (at least I do not feel old) and I do not think I look old.
Yesterday I took the bus to go home as usual, its what I do… I am sitting way in the back of the bus.. 2 girlies come in... One sits across from me and extends her jeans clad legs on the seat next to me and her friend sat next to her feet. There is nobody and I mean nobody that will cross these legs cause I swear she had the power to kill people with her eyes… Mean eyes, dark eyes (ok probably the make up)… So they start to talk to each other about their wonderful little lives…
Friend : I broke up with my boyfriend and I do not know how to tell my parents. Like he met my parents and family and I met his family. I just did not love him anymore (with an attitude that soooo does not convey the words).
Mean one: Well, just tell them you have something to say and that they are not allowed to ask questions…
Now I am thinking to myself, HOW can you do that, I am a total stranger and I WANT TO KNOW WHY. What happened, he didn’t love you good enough? you got tired of him playing XBOX? Or maybe, just maybe you are just young and would just like to live your life… Friend: Can you believe it ! I have 24 hours of class, I have to study at least 13 hours AND I have to work !
Mean one: I totally blew off work today, like I was going for only 3 hours and it was not planned as previously agreed at work, I mean if they can’t respect me I will not respect them…
Friend: I had a discussion with my boss last year about my hours, it was really crazy at school so he cut my hours. I was happy for a little while UNTIL I started to need money
I mean REALLY, new concept work = money. Then they babble on and on and they did what most girls do, talk about the problems about their other friend..
Mean one: You know so and so, well I do not know How to tell here this but she is like way tooo mature for her boyfriend… like she is what 20 ? and he is what.. just turned 18 ? I mean, like, he hasn’t finished doing his “crazy period of immaturity”…
I swear I could feel my hair turning gray and go boing boing on top of it and the wrinkles were growing by the second… PLEASE GET ME OFF THE BUS … I AM DYING OF OLD AGE PEOPLE… THESE KIDS ARE KILLING ME !!!!
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
2 things at the same time
Listening to radio and writing the Blog, shows I am a woman who can do 2 things at the same time.
Yesterday was my first day of class; saw almost the same people that were in the first class. I was so frustrated before going to class. I was not able to get the results from my 1st class online. All my colleagues had their results and I did not. AARRGH what an injustice, the freaking system kept showing not available… WHAT??!!!! First off, I AM available and second if everyone else got it, where is mine? So I realized that there was obviously a problem and that I would have to call the University and have this solved. I called at around 4.25, not really smart cause I have to leave at 4.30 to get my car from the South Shore and drive it back downtown. It is now registration time so hold on to your phone cause it takes forever! Needless to say I had to hang up and get George (my car). Off I went to take the bus to get back to the South Shore and off course the bus was late, every other bus was there but mine was late… The guy behind me must have thought I was a nutcase because I was getting angrier by the second. I could have screamed and punched something.
Finally the bus came around, had the slowest bus driver possible, even more frustrations. Got to the car, and of course getting on the bridge to head back to town and slow people all around me. People crossing lanes and doing stuff that drive me crazy and I also had no cd’s to put in my radio and there was nothing good on the damn radio. I got to class on time but frustrated and not expecting much from a teacher that wrote in his syllabus than “Unauthorized absences will be penalized” Hello this is a night class, I am a 35 yo, mother of 2 and I might have emergencies that may not permit me to give you an heads up about missing a class. And I do no need your permission or your blessings to miss a class, IDIOT. Turns out he is not that stupid, he was rather nice and understanding. This is going to be a long class
Yesterday was my first day of class; saw almost the same people that were in the first class. I was so frustrated before going to class. I was not able to get the results from my 1st class online. All my colleagues had their results and I did not. AARRGH what an injustice, the freaking system kept showing not available… WHAT??!!!! First off, I AM available and second if everyone else got it, where is mine? So I realized that there was obviously a problem and that I would have to call the University and have this solved. I called at around 4.25, not really smart cause I have to leave at 4.30 to get my car from the South Shore and drive it back downtown. It is now registration time so hold on to your phone cause it takes forever! Needless to say I had to hang up and get George (my car). Off I went to take the bus to get back to the South Shore and off course the bus was late, every other bus was there but mine was late… The guy behind me must have thought I was a nutcase because I was getting angrier by the second. I could have screamed and punched something.
Finally the bus came around, had the slowest bus driver possible, even more frustrations. Got to the car, and of course getting on the bridge to head back to town and slow people all around me. People crossing lanes and doing stuff that drive me crazy and I also had no cd’s to put in my radio and there was nothing good on the damn radio. I got to class on time but frustrated and not expecting much from a teacher that wrote in his syllabus than “Unauthorized absences will be penalized” Hello this is a night class, I am a 35 yo, mother of 2 and I might have emergencies that may not permit me to give you an heads up about missing a class. And I do no need your permission or your blessings to miss a class, IDIOT. Turns out he is not that stupid, he was rather nice and understanding. This is going to be a long class
Friday, January 5, 2007
Kids, cooking, knitting
Here is a picture of the finished sweater I made. Kinda looks funny now but I am kinda proud of it.
I had the kids with me on Friday at work. What a busy day, I was there physically there but mentally I was way out of there. I also took the time to explain to my dear daughter who asked me why I wear glasses. I explained to her that I wear them because when I became a parent all the stress related to taking care of them slowly burnt some of my brain cells and because of that some other cells had to take over and obviously it was those for my sight that took over therefore explaining my loss of perfect vision.
I am still knitting that orange hoodie, almost finished but not there yet ! Right now I am kinda disappointed in my cooking skills (Dude I used to be real good at it ) I fudged 2 pies, 2 PIES. I cannot beleive it, I could I mess up 2 pies. I had done the recipe before at my sister's house and they were great and now they honestly taste like poo. I would not care any other day but I said I was going to bring some at work and now I can't bring any cause I burnt them ! I cleaned the living room I was happy that decided to go shopping. Called Mr. X and had brunch with him and the kids, it was ok but I got a massive migraine I was feeling sick and needed to lie down.
I ended up going to his place, lied down and slept for 3 hours ! Christ, I have to stop seeing him, I have to stop that because I am giving him false hope that eventually we'll be back together. He is so hopeful and it's my fault. He will never move on if I keep seeing him.
I had the kids with me on Friday at work. What a busy day, I was there physically there but mentally I was way out of there. I also took the time to explain to my dear daughter who asked me why I wear glasses. I explained to her that I wear them because when I became a parent all the stress related to taking care of them slowly burnt some of my brain cells and because of that some other cells had to take over and obviously it was those for my sight that took over therefore explaining my loss of perfect vision.
I am still knitting that orange hoodie, almost finished but not there yet ! Right now I am kinda disappointed in my cooking skills (Dude I used to be real good at it ) I fudged 2 pies, 2 PIES. I cannot beleive it, I could I mess up 2 pies. I had done the recipe before at my sister's house and they were great and now they honestly taste like poo. I would not care any other day but I said I was going to bring some at work and now I can't bring any cause I burnt them ! I cleaned the living room I was happy that decided to go shopping. Called Mr. X and had brunch with him and the kids, it was ok but I got a massive migraine I was feeling sick and needed to lie down.
I ended up going to his place, lied down and slept for 3 hours ! Christ, I have to stop seeing him, I have to stop that because I am giving him false hope that eventually we'll be back together. He is so hopeful and it's my fault. He will never move on if I keep seeing him.
Thursday, January 4, 2007
My Fortune cookie
 | My Fortune Cookie told me: You will stop at nothing to reach your objective, but only because your brakes are defective. Get a cookie from Miss Fortune |
Myself
Can I call yesterday my day of hell !
Yes but only partly… hell was mostly at the end of the day. I had a pretty good day after all, my first day back at work after a week and a half of paid vacation. Work was good; I cannot complain I am the only one on my team here so I cannot fight with myself. I constantly have these little dialogues with myself but no fights.
Got my promotion on Christmas day ! Yeah… Happy dance.
Finally gave the first sweater to my friend yesterday, working hard on finishing the second one before my class begins next Tuesday. Helene really liked the sweater, while I am scratching my head, trying to figure out if she is making fun of me, trying not to hurt my feelings because the sweater is really horrendous and she doesn’t want to tell me. I liked the buttons because they reminded me food (smarties). This morning she tells me her boyfriend likes the sweater too. WOW. Well I am happy.
Yes but only partly… hell was mostly at the end of the day. I had a pretty good day after all, my first day back at work after a week and a half of paid vacation. Work was good; I cannot complain I am the only one on my team here so I cannot fight with myself. I constantly have these little dialogues with myself but no fights.
Got my promotion on Christmas day ! Yeah… Happy dance.
Finally gave the first sweater to my friend yesterday, working hard on finishing the second one before my class begins next Tuesday. Helene really liked the sweater, while I am scratching my head, trying to figure out if she is making fun of me, trying not to hurt my feelings because the sweater is really horrendous and she doesn’t want to tell me. I liked the buttons because they reminded me food (smarties). This morning she tells me her boyfriend likes the sweater too. WOW. Well I am happy.
Needless to say I will be knitting my ass off. Here is a picture of the back. It’s the Robin Hood Cable Sweater by Zoe Mellor (Adorable Knits for Tots). Here is my picture of it and I am pretty proud of it.
I did make resolutions for the New Year and they are very simple.
• Make myself happy, think of me, take care of me, global happiness for me.
• Take care of my finances.
• Be organized.
• I also want to stop worrying about what everyone else thinks about me or about the stuff I do.
• I want to assume who I am, love who I am and stop having doubts.
If I am happy, my kids will be happy and my world will be better. I started by getting myself some hair care products, cream for my body (kept putting it off for something else) with which I used yesterday with great joy. I also took off my make up Woo Woo something I do not usually do. I also started to wear make up every day, I value myself and I have to show it. This is the year of the pig and I am one, take it all in. This will be my year…
After I left work is where it started to go crazy. A woman started to scream at me at a red light saying I had cut her off. Cut her off, I did not and I really felt like telling her to fuck off. But I held back and the light changed. I was sure I did not cut her off and then it happened, I doubted myself. Damn it, my resolution is tested and I kept thinking of her and wondering if I did indeed cut her off. No I did not, but it bothered me for a while. Grrr I am kinda of angry with myself for letting it get to me. I was in a good mood before that and after I became perplexed and wondering what she must have been thinking of me (I worry about what a stranger thinks of me, I need help people).
Did a little shopping (mainly cat food), paid the rent and finally sat down to knit. I should have cleaned the dishes but I got lazy. Wanted to update my blog but my computer decided otherwise. So I knitted, undid the sleeve and started it again. I want this one to look perfect.
I got sick last night (read I kissed the toilet bowl), Could it be the food ? It’s the first time I am sick since the divorce, I am alone, pucking my guts out and no one is there, not even my cat. I wanted to cry for a split second and then I remembered I am a grown up and I can make it on my own. Think better of yourself. Went back to bed and wished really hard to fall back into the arms of “Morphee” once again.
I woke up really feeling crappy, put make up on, drove myself to work and I am feeling ok now.
Maybe today will end on a positive note.
• Make myself happy, think of me, take care of me, global happiness for me.
• Take care of my finances.
• Be organized.
• I also want to stop worrying about what everyone else thinks about me or about the stuff I do.
• I want to assume who I am, love who I am and stop having doubts.
If I am happy, my kids will be happy and my world will be better. I started by getting myself some hair care products, cream for my body (kept putting it off for something else) with which I used yesterday with great joy. I also took off my make up Woo Woo something I do not usually do. I also started to wear make up every day, I value myself and I have to show it. This is the year of the pig and I am one, take it all in. This will be my year…
After I left work is where it started to go crazy. A woman started to scream at me at a red light saying I had cut her off. Cut her off, I did not and I really felt like telling her to fuck off. But I held back and the light changed. I was sure I did not cut her off and then it happened, I doubted myself. Damn it, my resolution is tested and I kept thinking of her and wondering if I did indeed cut her off. No I did not, but it bothered me for a while. Grrr I am kinda of angry with myself for letting it get to me. I was in a good mood before that and after I became perplexed and wondering what she must have been thinking of me (I worry about what a stranger thinks of me, I need help people).
Did a little shopping (mainly cat food), paid the rent and finally sat down to knit. I should have cleaned the dishes but I got lazy. Wanted to update my blog but my computer decided otherwise. So I knitted, undid the sleeve and started it again. I want this one to look perfect.
I got sick last night (read I kissed the toilet bowl), Could it be the food ? It’s the first time I am sick since the divorce, I am alone, pucking my guts out and no one is there, not even my cat. I wanted to cry for a split second and then I remembered I am a grown up and I can make it on my own. Think better of yourself. Went back to bed and wished really hard to fall back into the arms of “Morphee” once again.
I woke up really feeling crappy, put make up on, drove myself to work and I am feeling ok now.
Maybe today will end on a positive note.
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